I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
