He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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