I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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