Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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