kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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