so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
