We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
