Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals