last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?