Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please

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  (585): the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please http://tfl.nu/85bu
  Replies (38) Good night (912) Bad night (3374)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.

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  (201): It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers. http://tfl.nu/1fi2
  Replies (18) Good night (5062) Bad night (1167)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.

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  (917): I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake. http://tfl.nu/yic9
  Replies (24) Good night (1492) Bad night (2745)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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  (732): apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums http://tfl.nu/96xk
  Replies (12) Good night (1045) Bad night (1891)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D

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  (616): I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D http://tfl.nu/kf4w
  Replies (8) Good night (2523) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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  (845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw
  Replies (4) Good night (1716) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all

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  (321): Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all http://tfl.nu/j4ja
  Replies (8) Good night (1421) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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  (813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs
  Replies (7) Good night (2182) Bad night (671)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..

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  (570): I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going.. http://tfl.nu/xhce
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (1691)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.

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  (901): She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/lor2
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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  (845): Make me a sandwich (301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a
  Replies (28) Good night (6093) Bad night (746)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"

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  (812): They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage" http://tfl.nu/yp3v
  Replies (5) Good night (1207) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight

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  (406): Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/ih4l
  Replies (5) Good night (986) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad

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  (914): I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad http://tfl.nu/el2g
  Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner

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  (608): I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner http://tfl.nu/zwav
  Replies (4) Good night (1238) Bad night (266)

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