Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl

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  (434): ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl http://tfl.nu/vx26
  Replies (8) Good night (3018) Bad night (763)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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  (407): I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!" http://tfl.nu/fhku
  Replies (40) Good night (1742) Bad night (6190)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.

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  (303): I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit. http://tfl.nu/klcc
  Replies (16) Good night (839) Bad night (2431)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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  (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it... http://tfl.nu/rkx1
  Replies (66) Good night (1472) Bad night (7194)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit

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  (416): Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit http://tfl.nu/uw56
  Replies (17) Good night (1098) Bad night (3720)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.

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  (631): I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary. http://tfl.nu/rbbj
  Replies (19) Good night (4533) Bad night (1119)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3524) Bad night (946)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So many bounce houses so little time

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  (860): So many bounce houses so little time http://tfl.nu/tcx2
  Replies (6) Good night (3610) Bad night (776)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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  (724): I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles. http://tfl.nu/o2t1
  Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (2489)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.

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  (978): apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material. http://tfl.nu/gr1e
  Replies (12) Good night (2276) Bad night (1220)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1633) Bad night (641)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.

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  (952): You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness. http://tfl.nu/88ay
  Replies (7) Good night (2544) Bad night (648)
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  (909): View more from California

  Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?

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  (909): Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy? http://tfl.nu/bd8h
  Replies (7) Good night (448) Bad night (1486)
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  (619): View more from California

  Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?

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  (619): Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex? http://tfl.nu/8w6e
  Replies (9) Good night (1017) Bad night (378)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.

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  (561): So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure. http://tfl.nu/8h8j
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (351)

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