Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
