People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I FOUND THE LEGS