He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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