She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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