I'm going to jail i love you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
