Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
