would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
