I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i dont even know how to be here
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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