I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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