If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
