Me. At least after what I've been through.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
