It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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