Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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