My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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