porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
