Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please come you make the beer taste better
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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