have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
