I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
