I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
someone owes me an orgasm
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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