Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
