she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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