Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sex in a hospital.. check
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
