a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
