I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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