true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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