Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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