it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A+ Viking dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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