Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are the jesus of drinking
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
