...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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