yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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