I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
