Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
