I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
