what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My feet surprised me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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