you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
