mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
