He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
