You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
