her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
