So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
