I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
