it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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