i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
