If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
