every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
