Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
