This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
