I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she smelled like a LAN party
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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