i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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