I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
they need to just BURY HIM!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
