She's JV to your varsity
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize