shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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