I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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