i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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