My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
