Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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