if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
