do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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