It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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