Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
