I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
