it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
