bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
