last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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