...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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