It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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