My balls are so social today.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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