we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
